Archives For domestic life

As I walked down the street from one of my 3 local 7-Elevens tonight I was nearly hit by a car.

This car came probably in under 1m away from me.

I never flinched once nor cared. I’m in Thailand. It was way close, but it was never going to hit me.thai bike

And if one thing Thailand has taught me is that caring less is freedom.

For those interested in the car story: it’s just usual here. Bikes often get closer as you’re walking up and down a street.

In Australia, I’d go completely and utterly spare. Every. Single. Time.

But somehow this wonderful country called Thailand has taught me not to care. To not get stressed. To not unduly worry.

Yes, Thailand has a horrible track record with road deaths, but likewise no one is going to run into you as you walk up the street.

I’ll walk up my street again tonight, and I won’t give a shit about being hit because I know that an average Thai on a bike, or in a car, doesn’t want to hit me.

And this conquers a lot of anxiety I ever had.

I’ve been accused by quite a few people of running away from my problems.

I’m not, as opposed to saying fuck it all and lets live somewhere where I can be happy and content.

I would never have thought about moving to Chiang Mai accept this bloke I know, who’s maybe a bit crazier than I am, but none the less a good bloke (and he worked out the sale of The Blog Herald for me) David Krug suggested Chiang Mai as a destination.

I’m happy he did.

I love this town. I really do. I’m content here. I’m comfortable. And the only bad thing is it’s near on impossible to get a permanent stay here visa.

And yet some people suggest that I’ve run away.

I’ve not run away from anything. You can’t runaway from nothing after all :)

My relationship with Kellie came to an end and so be it: still love the girl, and will always be there for her, but let me say this (please don’t be upset Kel that I’m saying this publicly) I encouraged her to get back with her husband, which she has and is still doing. She’s quite possibly my sole mate, and the only person I’ve ever met in my life who is kinda like me.

It’s a relationship I actually regret losing…unlike the nut cases prior.

I’ve had a seriously colourful relationship past (before Kellie I would note…I have ZERO negative to say about her,) including a full blown psycho who thought that sending out IVO’s daily was fun. That relationship cost me soooo many friends it wasn’t funny. For the record my name was on them: it wasn’t my idea, I was just supporting my partner.

But I need to accept the blame.

My ex-wife left me after telling me one day that she’d like to donate to the IVF programme then several months later running off with the husband of the woman she was donating her eggs to.

Shit I can’t make up: I’m seriously not that creative.

But so it is.

The next time you, and anyone thinks that I’m in Thailand running away please don’t: I’m here because I gave up the pursuit of wealth in an attempt to be content and happy, and this place makes me happy.

I’m content, not stressed (every day people nearly run me over and I don’t care, in Melbourne I’d be seriously upset.)

If it works out I don’t know. And yes the heat earlier this week got to me. But tell me seriously if you’re single: why not give a shot to something that may make you happy?

PS: Given I’m 15 months away from middle age…. ;)

wowmSadly this may be a regular daily post.

My ex-wife stripped all contact with my son away from me in the Family Court of Australia; and before you ask I couldn’t afford to contend it, her main witness had me constantly in court spending a shit ton of money on defending myself against her. I spent roughly $80k in lawyers in one year!

Amongst her evidence was statement from herself and her child shrink that me allowing Declan to play World of Warcraft was child abuse and caused him bad dreams.

The TL;DR version is WOW is bad, apparently.

But after recently being berated by my mother, she allowed some actual contact, and that included playing Minecraft and WOW with Dec online.

Until tonight.

I pointed out the irony while thanking my ex-wife tonight for letting me play WOW with him…and I will say that it’s a lot of fun. Hey Dec *waves*

And she responded by:

bitch

 

 

So tomorrow if and when I’m no longer allowed to play WOW with Declan I say this: it wasn’t me Dec, it was your mum.

There’s nothing wrong with playing WOW, it’s no different to me playing Dragon Warriors (similar to Dungeon and Dragons) when I was your age.

2312 posts to go.

elephant

So I have a new gig, I’m a staff writer for Social News Daily. It was officially announced Monday US time (31/3.)

Post here.

It was a beyond lovely post and I promise I had nothing to do with it…well except edit it after it went up after Andy Beard pointed out to me on Twitter: b5media was founded in 2005, not 2004 as per the original post (note to self: I’m getting old and forgetting dates :) )

I’m also somewhat stoked that a good guy like Andy Beard not only remembers me, but remembers my past better than I do.

I’ve had a proverbial shit ton of positive feedback about the new gig across social media, including people who I haven’t had much to do with in years (some going back to TechCrunch time) that have gone out of their way to like, congratulate or other forms of social media recognition.

It’s humbling. It really is that after all these years people still can find value in me writing, and giving my opinion.

Those who know me, or have followed me through some pretty dark years know some of the story post divorce to this point. Roller coaster kind of comes close.

I’m not going to rehash it all again…because if one thing about the response to this new gig tells me is that where perhaps at times that while I didn’t have a lot of faith in myself, others still did, and do.

It’s my 13th year in blogging, and I’m in my 10th year this year of doing it for a living. I’ve been what I guess some would call extremely well off, and I’ve also had periods where I was buggered if I knew how to pay the next bill. Because life is never boring there were I think six periods over all :)

Over the last 18+ months I’ve tried to rebuild myself, and part of that has been with 4aus.com..sure, not exactly nail biting tech posts (or revenue), but I’ve built it to the stage it has paid the bills, and oddly it gives most readers joy, often daily, when they find free stuff. There’s nothing nicer when a reader emails me to say they loved a sample they obtained via the site..and in one case a $20,000 holiday abroad. The site helped me rebuild daily discipline in writing (8 posts minimum a day week day (I aim for 10), and sometimes it’s not as easy as it seems when you can’t find 4 or 5 freebies to post.)

I’m not giving up 4aus.com (it pays my bills), but having joined Social News Daily others now have an expectation that I write and deliver, and from this week I aim to continue to crawl back to someone I use to be. I hope to be someone who can make headlines again and break stories.

Since starting at SND I’ve already had an amazing impact in writing about the potential new Armenian Genocide in Syria, (with an insane 11,000 social shares and counting, on the first post, another 6k on the follow ups and still counting) and although someone said to me on Facebook today that I’m being employed to write click bait: it may be true to some extent but even if once a month I can drive traffic by helping promote an amazingly worthy cause like #SaveKessab, I can and will go to bed at night sleeping better for it.

PS

Hi world, I think I might be back! :)

dec

Merry Christmas Dec.

Never forget that your Dad loves you, and there’s not one day at all that I don’t think about you and wish that I could see you, spend time with you, or even talk on the phone with you.

I hope you had a great Christmas.

Never forget that when your told your Dad doesn’t want to see you, or won’t ring you on Christmas Day, that it’s your mother who doesn’t allow this.

You see, to see you on an ongoing basis I have to do a course that involves basic cooking skills; you’re told that the “court” dictated this but the court simply stamped what your mother wanted.

And the mere fact I cant even talk to you this Christmas is because your mother stripped phone calls out of her court order…and she’ll tell you that she will allow you, but the last email I received from her she stated that if I ever tried to contact her and you again she’d take me to court…and get me into trouble with the police so to speak if I ever tried to find a way to contact you via phone again.

Hopefully one day Declan you will remember that I wasn’t evil, and work out for yourself that while your father would love nothing more than even to talk to you on the phone today, tomorrow, or anytime in the future, I’m not the one preventing this. I’m also not the one preventing me seeing you.

There are 2424 days from today until I can legally contact you. I can only hope as you get older that you might like to contact me, as there’s nothing in your mothers orders that prevents you doing so.

Love you always Dec.

Dad.

reset

Before I start, let me say that the following comes with a warning: I’m not a lifestyle guru, nor am I a life coach, any sort of guru, or any of the god knows how many sites who are promising you the world based on an idea.

But here’s the catch: I have an idea.

The following should be taken with not a grain of salt, but with about a dozen bags of it, because like way to many people blogging theses days, I’m not an expert just because I have an idea that may or not be good.

That aside.

In the new year I’m hitting the reset button on my life.

I’ve had some amazing experiences, successes, but I’ve also had some fucking tragic awful failures, be it mostly in my personal life.

Yay, I can build a website up. Nooo I fail at relationships, although I can survive them from anywhere to 3 months through to 9 years (with most <2 years.)

A friend (and I wish I could remember who) once said to me that you will only be ready for a relationship when you are comfortable with living by yourself.

After nearly 10 years of marriage the whole concept sounded wrong. The thought that I could live alone was wrong, and after the separation then divorce all I did was try to fill my life with someone else.

I’m not suggesting that anyone reading this can’t, or shouldn’t have someone in their life, but it’s an interesting point: “you are only ready for a relationship when you can live with yourself” (I know that’s not what I wrote above, but in each instance, it’s words to that affect.)

I can live with myself now. Actually, at this point in my life, I’m quite happy doing so. It only took 38 years :)

I’m currently planning to move back to Chiang Mai, where I spent roughly 4 out of the last 6 months in. I love the place, but I’m not using this post to explain why, I’ll save that for another post.

The moral/ idea of this post/ story is that you can be happy alone (with salt :) ) I know it’s hard and hell it took me years to accept it but as I write this I know that I’m going to be far more happy alone than I will be in a relationship (and that’s putting aside the BS I’ve dealt with.)

I only wish I could remember who told me about being happy alone so I could credit them.

I’ve been there, done that, and if you are going through any relationship issues, or alone issues, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can be happy alone.

I’m not going to open up a call centre here but if you want to talk about your probs, or ping my brain: duncan at nichenet.com.au Happy to talk.

But again, as per the heading: the reset button is coming. I hope to get back in Chiang Mai ASAP and come January 1st I’m pressing that button.

(insert guru stuff here) YOU CAN DO THAT :D

OK so I’m taking the piss now but seriously, I am, and if anyone reading this has had any doubts, you can as well.

 

I need to be more selfish

October 25, 2013 — 3 Comments

selfish-1

 

One of the biggest failings in my life, personally, in business and even in a gig, is that I’ve been way to trusting.

The reality is that over and over again I get screwed for being so trusting.

I should theoretically be in Melbourne as I write this; I’m not. I’m in Chiang Mai.

I’d paid to go home to Melbourne but got bailed on at the 11th hour. So be it.

But I can say it’s not the first time I’ve been deceived either. Sort of the story of my life.

I’d booked to see a Stephen Fry and Kevin Smith maybe 3-4 years ago..and go bailed on in the end…I still went though :)

There’s more behind that, but I won’t carry on.

But I will say this: never trust a woman when it comes to promises, even if you are married.

 

 

XXXVIII

September 4, 2013 — 1 Comment

2013-09-02 21.03.17

“… and the sea will grant each man new hope, as sleep brings dreams of home.”

XXXVIII

and greetings from Kuala Lumpur.

I went through some old posts and stories about me tonight and I read this quote I wrote back in 2008.
What more can I say that I was deeply wrong:

…Life’s to short to ignore your family. Arrington is significantly older than me and has never been married; if the cost of being successful is being alone then I’d rather be unsuccessful and with my wife and son, and I’m sorry if that makes me soft in the eyes of some people. The best thing about The Inquisitr is being free to set my own timetable and taking a day off if and when I want to (and I hired a weekend writer to allow me to do just that). Sure, I still work long hours and spend far too much time in front of a computer (or iPhone) and the work/ family balance isn’t perfect, but its a damn lot better than it use to be.

Guess what, it didn’t work.

End of the day if your partner falls in love with the husband of the woman she wants to donate her eggs to under IVF at Epworth in Melbourne, there is literally nothing you can do.

End of story.

 

djr11

It’s my son’s 11th Birthday today.

Thanks to his mothers lies I haven’t seen him in over 12 months. I’m not allowed to call him, send him a present, or even know what the hell is going on in his life.

It’s wonderful how winning the entire house after a divorce settlement sets you up for lawyers, to the point that I’ve spent virtually every cent I’ve had on lawyers in the last 2 years and still lost.

None the less I’m happy to note that today marks that there is 7 more years to go until I can see Declan again.

My note to Declan:

Dear Declan

Happy Birthday and I hope you had a great day.

I would love to have talked to you today, and even sent you a present, but your mother doesn’t allow it via court order.

Know always that I love you always with all my heart: never forget that it was I who took you to school every day and picked you up before your mother ran off, never forget that it was I who cooked your meals every day when I could still see you, vs the nanny who does it for you now. Remember that it was I who bought your clothes, and the great time we had shopping together at places like DJ’s buying Zanerobe.

I know this is very hard on you, and it is beyond unfair that your mother won’t let me see you fairly, but look up: today marks the 7 year mark until I can see you again.

I know it seems a long time but you’re 11 now…that to me is remarkable in itself.

Be well always Declan and know always that your dad loves you and misses you every single day of his life.

Love
Dad.
xo

And here’s the counter. I might make this a desktop app as well so I can count the time.