Yesterday I decided to run the gauntlet of the post Christmas sales. For those outside of Australia, they have traditionally been our biggest shopping week of the year: a bit like Black Friday post Thanksgiving.

In years gone by millions would flock to Department stores to snap up amazing bargains that were only offered once a year. The other big sale, the end of financial year ones (financial year in Australia ends June 30) are fairly big, but it’s the post xmas sales that have traditionally kicked arse.

Not this year.

I headed into Bourke Street Mall, the main shopping heart of Melbourne to hit the Department stores.

I headed up to DJ’s (David Jones…one of our two biggest biggest department stores) looking for a bargain.

What I found was a joke. And a bit more beyond a joke.

Not only was the bulk of merchandise in menswear (I was looking for some new t-shirts and shorts…it is the middle of summer after all) not on sale, what I found was thin on the ground, and rarely available in my size. The most I found to buy was one t-shirt: $25 vs $40 or thereabouts.

But this is where it gets better: and this where I’ve had beyond enough with major offline retailers in Australia: at the main checkout in menswear (be it upstairs, there is two levels there, where the more modern stuff is) at a checkout of 3 cash registers there was exactly ONE person serving, and a massive line. I lined up and waited, like a lemming, until eventually as I was near the front (and the line just got longer and longer and longer) OMG a second one was opened.

But hey: I’ve been waiting for my bargain, so I should get good service: no f*&king chance. A surely salesperson who didn’t like being there treating me like I was privileged to be served.

This in what is supposedly the busiest shopping week of the year in Australia. The crowds weren’t huge (well not compared to past years I’ve shopped at this time) but it was clearly very busy. But do you think the owners at David Jones could care enough to not only serve their customers, but to deliver prompt and friendly service.

Apparently not.

And that’s why I’ve had enough with most online retailers. Not all: I did head up to a shoe store the other side of Swanston street and buy some shoes (service wasn’t great, I had to find them, but I got decent service after I asked for it) but the Department stores in particular: enough is enough. I virtually won’t shop at Myer any more because most of their stores are bereft of staff. David Jones has followed the trend. I don’t like paying a premium price anyway, but hell if I pay it I atleast expect some service, and that’s the core problem with the big guys in Australian retail: they charge max and they DON’T provide service.

I was in a Harvey Norman before xmas with a friend (well, more than that) and we stood around for the better part of 20-30 minutes waiting to find someone to help us with our PURCHASE question.

Sorry, complete and utter bollocks.

The likes of Gerry Harvey complain about GST and overseas retailers and all that stuff: but here’s the thing: I can buy most things I want, in Australia, for well below 50% off what the store have them, online. If I go overseas sometimes the margin is as much as a staggering 80%.

They charge huge markups, and then don’t provide anything close to a service worth paying the extra.

Enough is enough.

I will still buy things in stores in 2012, but I will always try now to buy things online, even if overseas, because our big retailers are just taking the piss, and expect us to take it. And I’d encourage anyone reading this to do the same.

The rip offs must end.

Apparently no matter of orders make a difference in Victoria.

Take for example the above.

I don’t have a perfect driving record: I ran a red light and was caught speeding about 3 years ago, just after I moved here. Let me tell you that I’ve never done it again. Have I got the odd small speeding fine and parking fine before that: yes, but I don’t believe I’m bad.

But apparently in this state, VicRoads can take on any old vexatious complaint and pursue it.

I will keep my license, but the mere fact that it’s free game for anyone to make a complaint like this is BS.

They say batter up, but in my case it’s lawyer up.

And enough is enough. Time to make representations to my member of Parliament as well.

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

How time flies in one year.

Highlights include
- stranger than fiction
- record results
- Lots of shows
- a fair bit of travel (I’m even a Qantas Club member now!)
- several rounds of dating
- finally finding someone who is sane and loves me back
- more dramas with the boy at school

and much much more.

Oh, and last time I weighed myself I clocked in at 76kgs. This time last year I would have been approx 102kg.

Interesting year. Oddly enough, while I usually get depressed on this day, this time I’m mildly positive. Sure, I still hate getting older, but if a change is as good as a holiday, I’ve spent most of the last year flying to Mars and back.

12 months later and I’m simply a different person. Perhaps the person I was 10 or 12 years ago. And I can’t say I’m not loving it, the occasional crazy day aside

July 31: Stephen Fry
August 8: Kevin Smith
August 27: Joss Whedon

Also, money permitting, I’ve got press credentials for BlogWorldExpo in Vegas in October, so that will be my first big trip this year.

Think wisely before doing so, because if you’re not careful you’ll end up with a $416 bill for repairs for the car you hired just as I have received in the post today.

Here’s the quick Hertz Australia car hire story. Back in April I spent two nights in Canberra. The Hertz Australia car was picked up from CBR airport in an outdoor car park with poor lighting, so a full and proper inspection of the car wasn’t possible. The next morning I noted the odd scratch and mark, but nothing I considered reporting; I don’t think I’ve ever had a spotless car except the time I hired a car with Thrifty which had all of 125kms on the clock.

Fast forward, and today I’ve received a bill from Hertz Australia for car damage to a front guard. I’m not even sure what part of the car a front guard is (bumper bar??.) Even better, the car was sent for assessment…wait for it…nearly a clear week after I allegedly damaged it. I’d find it difficult to believe that a car hire place would have sat a car around waiting for an assessment for a week without hiring it out again.

What’s more, the car was handed to a Hertz Australia employee at drop off, who I recall doing a (be it perhaps brief) visual check of the car. Nothing was mentioned at drop off, but apparently a week later the car is damaged and required paint, for what I presume is a $416 scratch.

I’ve hired cars on and off over the years in Australia and the United States; I’m by no means a frequent hirer of cars, but probably more regular than many people. In all that time I’ve never ONCE had a claim made against me for damage. Not once.

But here’s the big difference with Hertz Australia: other car rental places are very strict on inspections at pickup and drop off. Hertz Australia on the other hand, at least in Canberra, seem to take it all a bit too casually. My mistake was not putting that car in bright light before I drove it out of the airport. Next time I’ll have a camera and flashlight in hand and I won’t be leaving a carpark again until I’ve RETURNED the inspection report indicating every tinny little scratch.

I have no idea whether I have any right to appeal with Hertz Australia, and the letter delivered simply said that I’d done it and had been charged. I paid for extra insurance, can’t remember what the excess was, but that apparently counted for fuck all as well.

Moral is: I’ll never be hiring a car with Hertz Australia again, and I’d warn others to think twice given my experiences here.

I’ve been flying a lot more lately, to the point where I’ve joined Qantas Club to try and make the airport part less annoying. But there’s one thing I can’t avoid.

THE GOD DAMN CRAPPY ALWAYS OVER FULL LONGTERM PARKING BUS AT MELBOURNE AIRPORT.

Yes, writing in caps is like swearing.

Every coupe of years there appears to be a debate here about extending the train network out to the airport, but no one ever talks about an internal transport network for getting around the airport, like the monorail at Newark or SFO.

And it’s not as if the parking is affordable either: $69 for two and a bit days AND the car is in the open. If you want the multi-level is $99. I use to leave the car at Perth Airport for 10 days and I’d only end up paying a bit more than that. Often you end up paying more for the car parking than the flight.

And then you have to wait for the stupid bus, which is always overfull.

Not good enough.

It is quite possibly the best show ever created for television.

Yes, and I now have River Tam wallpaper

How the hell can I be a S in Zanerobe and FCUK, M in Superdry and L in Ben Sherman (although Ben Sherman is completely screwed up when it comes to sizing…I swear they make clothes for midgets.)

How is it that a pair of 32 pants I bought on eBay in an obscure brand not fit (too small), and yet every other make they fit with room..or in the case of the FCUK pants, they nearly need the belt now to keep them up.

I mean: they don’t have this problem with shoes, do they?